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Wednesday,
September 3rd, 2014 — Viaenerds / sourcetheuniverseisfinite
coolator:

own a piece of history
Wednesday,
September 3rd, 2014 — Viaborinq / sourcefoxnewsofficial

foxnewsofficial:

i get so affectionate when i’m sleepy it’s disgusting

Wednesday,
September 3rd, 2014 — Viaabaddonlives / sourcelifeafterbeths
Wednesday,
September 3rd, 2014 — Viamuckkles / sourcevioletmaps

"

I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.

..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.

“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”

I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away..

..Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.

"

David Wong, 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person

This never gets old. 

(via denasynesthesia)

breadonly:

andrejpejicjimmyvegafanfic:

veryraresecrete:

╭̫◜⁘̫ ͡ ̮◝╮̫ 
(⁘̫(̮ ⁘̫ )̮ ⁘̫) 
    ༽•́ડ̮•̀༼
    ༼̫̫(| |)༽̫̫ 
    ༼̫̫༼ ͟ ͟ ༽༽̫̫ ͟

………………………… broccoli man
again! encore!

╭̫◜⁘̫ ͡ ̮◝╮̫ 
(⁘̫(̮ ⁘̫ )̮ ⁘̫) 
   ༽•́ડ̮•̀༼
   ༼̫̫(| |)༽̫̫ 
 ༼̫̫༼ ͟ ͟ ༽༽̫̫ ͟

………………………… broccoli man

desactivated:

when you see a pen on the ground and you steal it

image

neilpatrickheaven:

crystallinedemons:

imagine being in ravenclaw and going back to your common room  stumbling drunk in the middle of the night after a magical night of partying and having to answer a fucking riddle in order to get in your own goddamn bedroom

"what gets wetter and wetter the more it dries"
"your mom eeyyyyyyy"

Tuesday,
September 2nd, 2014 — Viastormb0rns / sourceburdge
burdge:

ok but hear me out- what about a lightning bolt scar that looked like real lightning?

queenofheartsonthesleeve:

Did you know that beekeepers have famously attractive eyes ? Every single one of them . I don’t know the science behind it , but studies show beauty is in the eye of the bee holder . 

Tuesday,
September 2nd, 2014 — Viakeeireeennnn / sourceeisenbernard
Tuesday,
September 2nd, 2014 — Viacrazypeoplejail / sourceangeloespinosas
Tuesday,
September 2nd, 2014 — Viaahzaneing / sourcemangacartaholygrail

perilousseas:

equiuszahhot:

do you ever hear a line in a song and it’s just so painfully clever you just sit there in shock for the remainder of the song

Tuesday,
September 2nd, 2014 — Viasilentandfriendly / sourceunclefather

tolazytofinishthi:

unclefather:

yaaaaas santa you look so good santa

SLEIGHH

kyubiisaan:lowwbloods:officialwillowpape:i searched up ‘hurdlers without hurdles’ on google and i dont regret itthese boots are made for walkinThe ol razzle dazzle
besturlonhere:

arineat:

tryingtodisappearcompletely:

God I hope this is true.
Oh my god it is.

OMFG

i dropped my monster space condom for my magnum astro dong